Lisa's Blog post # 20

Most women are obsessed with numbers – age, weight, dress size, shoe size, calories, carbs – you name it!  I am no exception – but my obsession is over a number in a completely different category.  I just have to know how high the fence is that I’m jumping!  I’m sure I’ll get over it as I learn how to ride my horse (I didn’t use to care) but for now I gotta know!  It is a tremendous comfort to know that the jump we are pointed at is only x” high when my mind sees everything right now as mammoth Prelims!  (ok, slight exaggeration)

All this to say that before we hit the XC field today I went around sticking all the jumps – don’t laugh!  We all have our little emotional crutches and I am openly admitting mine!  Besides, I also needed to do a little housekeeping – a few blocks of wood were strewn around the log jump, a stray branch had grown out over the top of the brick wall effectively converting it into a skinny, etc.  The exercise confirmed for me that there was only one jump that was a true BN height, the rest were the same size we had practiced in the arena.  My mind was at ease.  I could take them all.

The tally for our ride today, out of just over a dozen XC jumps, was as follows – 2 refusals, 3 “grab mane” pop-ups, and a handful of “yee-ha”s.   I nearly quit midway through to make an emergency call to Lesley to find out how soon she could be at the barn but I decided to hang in there and go back to the baby cross pole with the ground poles to regroup.  We did that twice, absolutely perfectly! which told me that I needed to ride the XC coop we were working on the same exact way as I had just ridden the cross pole.  I was doing something differently, but what?!    As we walked back to the coop I rehearsed, “ride forward, relaxed, steady… ride forward, relaxed, steady”.  That must have translated into my aids because we jumped it fairly well the next time and absolutely perfect the last time! 

One of the first times I rode Cotton, his previous owner told me something - “He gets his confidence from his rider.”  I am beginning to realize just how profound her statement was!  Part of my mental adjustment as we headed back for our second attempt at the XC coop was to be positive and tell Cotton that it was ok; we were going to get it; he was doing a good job.  I talk to him a lot as we ride anyway, but usually I’m saying things in a calm voice like “settle down” or “whoa”!   I learned today that he needs me to be his confident leader.   I was determined to end the day on two good jumps in a row, even if it took me all afternoon!  That attitude must have somehow rubbed off on him because we got the job done.  Now I need to figure out what I did right!

So, to sum it up … Cotton is looking to me to be his fearless leader but I am looking to him to be the packer I thought he was!  Have we reached an impasse?!  Not yet.

Providence has given me a job to do – you could even say it’s a calling of sorts – and Providence will determine when that job is over.  Until then, I will do my best to learn to be the rider Cotton needs me to be so we can reach our new goal – BN this Fall.