~Dr. Haefner's Corner~

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I have always been fascinated and excited when I discover similarities or commonalities in different systems. Whether that is a repeated pattern in different people, or a commonality across species, or an identifiable dynamic in different systems. My eyes light up when I notice these connections. Perhaps this is because, by my very nature as a human, I am desperate to notice patterns and predict what is going to happen in order to survive in this world. However, I like to think it is more a result of my curiosity and my interest in helping people. You see, it is my experience that the awareness and understanding of patterns and similarities that exist across species and relational systems are often the key in helping people progress toward their goals. (Click on Blog Title above to read full entry)

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Maike writes: I trust myself less riding my own horse meaning I really truly trust him but have fear of injuring or disappointing him, much more so than previously riding horses for others… But riding my own horse now, and he is my life! I get really nervous and anxious dreaming about silly accidents. Of course I ride less hours and no other horses anymore, meaning less practice and all those other worries have disappeared, but would love to obtain a handle on those fears the better to enjoy those times we still have together.

Maike – Thank you for the question! Many riders struggle with feelings about not being good enough for their horses. Some, like yourself, worry about letting their horse down in a way that might lead to accidents or injury. Others worry about "ruining" a good horse in other ways like chipping away at the horse’s confidence and training as a result of their lack of skill. (Click on Question Title above to read full answer)

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I've had so many near-misses when hacking I now fear it more than I do a round of jumps. My horse is as safe as any horse can be on the roads and I know it's good for him to get out of the school but I get to the point of being physically sick at the thought and I'm tense the whole time we're out. Can you give me any advice on getting past this? (Meghann)

Meghann – When we have strong emotional reactions to situations that we know are reasonably safe (or perhaps better stated as situations with acknowledged risks that are well within a range of risk we are willing to accept), problems often arise when we get too far outside of our comfort zone too quickly.  The strategy for tackling fear and anxiety is simple and straightforward.  Find the edge of your comfort zone.  Step slightly out of it.  Stay there until you get more comfortable.  Reward yourself for your courage.  While simple, this strategy is often very difficult to implement.  It is especially difficult in riding because the traditional riding routines, along with other riding culture pressures, do not easily align with the pace, timing and patience needed to transform our experience. (Click on Question Title above to read full answer)

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Typically, when a rider seeks out my assistance, they have a problem and are looking to get it fixed. Often their problem involves a strong emotional reaction to a specific situation that interferes with their riding, such as anxiety as they enter the show ring or panic as they approach a triple combination. Many are surprised, after they have described their problem, when I ask them to take a step back and look at the broader picture. Like most of us, my clients are highly focused on the problem and often believe that the solution lies in directly addressing that problem; changing some specific thing about themselves that causes the problem to vanish. (Click on Blog Title above to read full entry)

I recently participated in a training course on techniques and strategies to build core mindfulness skills. While there were many interesting strategies that will be helpful to my clients over time, I was struck by Sheri Van Dijk‘s presentation regarding states of mind. She focused her presentation on two specific states of mind, the Rational Mind and the Emotional Mind and talked about the distinction between them. I think the ideas she presented are directly relevant to what we desire as a performance state of mind. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

Recently a friend and trainer Lesley Stevenson posted a question on her Facebook page asking how people recover from a bad ride. I loved reading the responses. Sharing ideas and experiences with each other is an essential part in maintaining our resilience in the face of challenge.  I also admired the wealth of knowledge, creativity and humor in everyone’s responses. As I read each comment, I started thinking about how the responses naturally fell into several categories which reflected the strategies for recovery recommended by sport psychology consultants. As a tribute to all the riders that responded to that post, I thought I would try to summarize those strategies here so we all might benefit. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

"I would like to know if you have any strategies for dealing with intense anxiety.  I become anxious just thinking about a jump lesson, let alone a show or event.  My anxiety amps up my horse, and then we don’t do nearly as well as we could.  My horse is a saint and takes very good care of me over jumps, but he does feed off my anxiety.  My main instructor and several clinicians insist that I am extremely well prepared for the level at which I’m competing, so I’m not overfacing myself or my horse. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide!" ~ Erin

Erin – One of the several bright spots in your story is that your intense anxiety, while impacting your performance, is not preventing you from participating in the sport. This opens the door for one of the most time honored and empirically validated approaches for tackling anxiety. It is called “In Vivo Systematic Desensitization,” more commonly known as exposure therapy. “In Vivo” refers to direct or live exposure to the anxiety provoking stimulus. “Desensitization” is exactly as you would imagine. It refers to inhibiting avoidance reactions long enough for you to “get comfortable” with the problematic situation or stimulus. “Systematic” refers to a compassionate measured approach where you start with situations that evoke milder anxiety, and then work your way toward more challenging situations as you master the less provoking ones. (Click on Question Title above (in blue) to read full answer)

One of the things that many people don’t know about me is that I hold Bachelor of Science degree in Physics.  I have always been interested in the scientific knowledge of our natural world and how the insights from advanced scientific study enrich our understanding of ourselves, our horses and our relationship with them. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

I had the pleasure of auditing the William Fox-Pitt Clinic at Morningside Training Farm last week.   While I was struck by many things I heard and observed, the most striking for me was his focus on the fundamentals of good horsemanship.  Whether he was working with 3*/4* riders and their horses or with riders and horses of less experience, he started at the beginning.  The first day’s sessions on the flat started with a discussion of, and work on, the warm up.  This was followed by a focus on connection, relaxation and rhythm.  All of this before any upper level movements.  The second day’s jumping sessions started over fences at the trot and the walk before moving on to more challenging exercises.  The focus of all the jumping work was on supporting a positive attitude in the horse and encouraging the horse to “find” the jumps.  His commitment to good fundamentals and to the welfare and nature of each horse was both admirable and refreshing. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

Clients ask me great questions about a wide range of issues.  They want to to know how to achieve positive performance states, deal with anxiety, accelerate their learning, regulate their energy, strengthen their motivation, and manage their behavior, just to name a few. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

How many times have you entered the arena to compete and found yourself obsessing about what someone else was thinking about you?  Sure we worry about what the judges think, but we also worry about what almost everyone else thinks.  We worry about the judgments of our trainers, other people’s trainers, family, friends, peers, as well as other competitors.  Yet, at the end of the day, we have to wonder how many of those people, whose judgments we worry so much about, gave our performance more than a passing thought.  The reality is that we are most often the only ones that are judging ourselves so harshly and ruthlessly. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry)

Courage

While I understand the importance of "mental toughness," I have never liked the phrase.  One problem I have encountered is that it often evokes images of pushing through no matter what, without any consideration of context.  In my career as a sport psychologist, I can honestly say that there has been more real damage done when clients have been pushed (or pushed themselves) to "cowboy up" and exhibit their toughness in situations that were objectively unsafe either physically, psychologically or emotionally. On reflection, I think we are much better served by exploring the many foundational qualities and characteristics of mental toughness such as courage, resilience, and persistence rather than the dogged pursuit of mental toughness itself. (Click on Blog Title above (in blue) to read full entry.)